see, the thing about finding something new to focus your attention on,

is that you always (uncontrollably) lose sight of the things that used to matter,

even when they still do.

i used to be so good at this game,

but something got lost in the translation.

i got selective.

i got picky.

but wasn't i always?

now nothings enough.

nothing is ever enough.

dayvamp.

i need to be with someone in the daytime more than i do at night.

mo-vent-um.

i can't get my mind to stop running.

i'm hangin on by a thread here, kid.

you might be the only thing to make me stay.

feeling gray under blue skies.

i'm missing your face,

but it was never really there at all.

just a shadow,

when i can't even see my own.

i'm lacking ambition,

now that's a first.

like clockwork.

i've never been one to follow my own advice.

this means nothing.

i made myself a promise.

for you, the world. 

never again.

boredom in 516.

figures the last few days i'm on the island

will be ridden with doctors appointments.

i hate going to the doctor.

i always have.

& i'm not exactly sure why.

all the doc's i've ever had have been super awesome.

nice dudes, minimal pain.

i think it's the waiting room that kills me.

that & this oversized self-destruction complex.

oh well.

i'm not exactly sure why i haven't been writing or updating lately,

it's certainly not for a lack of ideas,

but i just haven't really found the time lately.

which is strange, because i have so much free time down here.

maybe it's all those damn video games.

my xbox has been broken for probably over a year now,

but it's been with me at school,

so my younger brother bought a new one for home.

either that or it was a present,

i'm not really sure how he came up with it,

but anyway.

they're addicting.

it's funny to move from one place that is so built up on the newest technology & advancements in graphics (most likely cause of the lack of valuable things to do down here) to another place where that kind of stuff is pushed to the wayside for real interactive stone-age style entertainment (i.e. meaningful conversations & people i actually want to be around).

i don't know if that made sense.

i just want to get this semester started.

i have so many plans,

i just want them to be put into action.

i just want something to happen,

anything.