see, the thing about finding something new to focus your attention on,

is that you always (uncontrollably) lose sight of the things that used to matter,

even when they still do.

i used to be so good at this game,

but something got lost in the translation.

i got selective.

i got picky.

but wasn't i always?

now nothings enough.

nothing is ever enough.

dayvamp.

i need to be with someone in the daytime more than i do at night.

mo-vent-um.

i can't get my mind to stop running.

i'm hangin on by a thread here, kid.

you might be the only thing to make me stay.

feeling gray under blue skies.

i'm missing your face,

but it was never really there at all.

just a shadow,

when i can't even see my own.

i'm lacking ambition,

now that's a first.

like clockwork.

i've never been one to follow my own advice.

this means nothing.

i made myself a promise.

for you, the world. 

never again.

boredom in 516.

figures the last few days i'm on the island

will be ridden with doctors appointments.

i hate going to the doctor.

i always have.

& i'm not exactly sure why.

all the doc's i've ever had have been super awesome.

nice dudes, minimal pain.

i think it's the waiting room that kills me.

that & this oversized self-destruction complex.

oh well.

i'm not exactly sure why i haven't been writing or updating lately,

it's certainly not for a lack of ideas,

but i just haven't really found the time lately.

which is strange, because i have so much free time down here.

maybe it's all those damn video games.

my xbox has been broken for probably over a year now,

but it's been with me at school,

so my younger brother bought a new one for home.

either that or it was a present,

i'm not really sure how he came up with it,

but anyway.

they're addicting.

it's funny to move from one place that is so built up on the newest technology & advancements in graphics (most likely cause of the lack of valuable things to do down here) to another place where that kind of stuff is pushed to the wayside for real interactive stone-age style entertainment (i.e. meaningful conversations & people i actually want to be around).

i don't know if that made sense.

i just want to get this semester started.

i have so many plans,

i just want them to be put into action.

i just want something to happen,

anything.

secrets.

tell me how you do that dance.

every word i said,

i meant,

but you're

so much more.

how can i expect to live without you?

9 days into the new year without an update.

wow.

2009.

all i can say is that this year has been a mindfuck already.

starting off with a bang,

just like i was hoping.

i know there's been a crazy lack of updates,

but i've been busy as ever,

2009 is going to bring things i couldn't have even imagined last year,

but for now they're all just plans being built.

big, exciting news to come!

its funny how, things work out.

haha so, looks like i've been no better with the updates.

making the conversion to the iphone has been ridiculous.

and it's impossible to type long updates on there.

my twitter account, however, has gotten more use than ever.

things have been good,

home is nice,

a little stressful,

but it's a nice break.

back up to new paltz on tuesday for a little while.

spending new years with the homies,

you know how it is.

probably not staying at my place however,

that might be too much to handle for this trip.

hopefully we can find something dope to get into up there,

this way we'll be entertained,

occupied,

& not have to worry about the bullshit.

but i do have a week's worth of meetings to take care of,

so that means no partying too hard.

we'll seeeee.

i'm sure there will be another update or two before the new year,

but if not,

have a happy & a healthy new year with you and yours.

let's see what 2009 will bring.

some mistletoe all up in this piece.

merrrrry christmas mother fuckers.

that's right,

it's that time of the year again.

time to bust out your holly jolly spirits,

and surround yourselves with the ones that you love.

well, this year was dope.

i hope everyone had as much fun as i did

& that santa has blessed you all with ill presents.

but christmas dinner wiped me out,

& i'm starting to lose the spirit,

so i'm gunna go lift that up,

then maybe sneak off for a quick nap.

happy holidays everyone!

enjoy the rest of the eveninggg.

its christmas eve.

well apparently december has been a low blogger month.

so much has been going on,

i never have time to update.

well,

it's past my birthday.

i finally got a new cellphone,

after 6 years.

i did better than expected in my classes.

things have been really good.

tonight's the party for my family celebrating my birthday.

my mom insists on this every year.

well she made some delicious food,

so it should be rad.

i'm going to make an attempt to update more.

probably now with pictures,

since the iphone has a dope camera.

we'll see, we'll see.

goodnight all.

merry christmas.

in progress.

we built up our world
on pillars of promises
that noone intended to keep.
and make rash generalizations
about future generations
claiming its out of our mouthes that they speak.
what if we made a miscalculation?
someone screwed up our communication,
and dumbed us all up with an immunizaton,
and now all of our heroes are weak.
now all of our futures are bleek.
what if somebody took a wrong turn,
and now it's too late, and nobody's learned?
we're losing everything, all that we've earned
and nobodys asking, noones concerned.
because taxes are a joke to no man.
or at least that's what I'm told by the man.
but if everythings under his command,
than where's he paying his dues?
where's the cash for the shit that he's used?
I'm sorry if i act too bemused,
but I'm a player in the game that you programmed to lose.

burning banks & trains.

so basically the only thing i have done in the past two days,

is go to two finals, and read about the greek riots constantly.

tonight my friends had yet another token holiday party.

wine & cheese & spiked hot chocolate.

slightly different swing,

a classier way of doing things.

it was pretty rad.

i'm kind of excited that this semester is over.

although, i'm kind of scared to see where i end up a month and a half from now.

but for right now,

the only thing on my mind is sleep.

tomorrow i have two finals i don't want to go to,

but shouldn't be the most difficult things ever, either.

oh well.

wish me luck.

the city sleeps in flames.

"The State murders. Your silence arms them. Occupations in all public buildings, now. Occupation of the Town Hall of Agios Dimitrios"

the riots rage on. tune in.

Athens is on fire.

Has anybody heard about this shit going on in greece?!

the cities are on fire,

there's riots all over the streets.

15 year old kids,

making bombs,

lighting the police on fire.

a 15 year old kid was shot in cold blood by the police,

and it looks like the cop who fired is going to get off.

these people are doing exactly what they should be doing.

it's about time someone stood up to these corrupt fucking power systems.

if it's not working, 

the people are SUPPOSED TO

get fired up,

light it on fire

& build a new.

stay strong, freedom fighters.

here's a blog run by some citizens over there,

and participants in the riots. 

a first-hand account that you're not going to hear from the major media outlets.

On The Greek Riots

i guess them greek kids really know somethin' about art.

we were right in your downfall.

so stay true my friend,

we were right after all,

and be good to yourself,

stay gold through the fall

till i'll see you again,

maybe you'll grab my hand

and we'll be.

just never let it go,

we were right after all,

they'll never let us know,

but don't refuse to stand tall

because all, all that we are,

will be remembered.

go get it right,

be true to yourself,

because that's all we are,

if not anything else.

they'll remember,

remember,

remember,

remember how hard,

you fell.

SUCCESS!

all things considered,

last night was a huge success.

thanks so much to everyone who came out to support us,

and rock out with us at our first big event.

you guys mean the world to us,

and trust me,

last night was nothing compared to what we got in store.

for now, it's time to rest up,

study up for finals,

and handle the last few post-show wrap-ups.

but overall,

it's been a damn good weekend.

and resulting, i'm a tired boy,

so goodnight at 3:20 p.m. on a sunday.

what a fantastic day, not.

so, of course the show is tomorrow.

and i choose today to get sick.

fucking fantastic.

but you know what,

considering how this semester has gone,

i'm pretty okay with it.

the show will go on!

staying in tonight,

trying to get better.

i've taken every type of med under the sun today,

i better be fully functional tomorrow.