speak of the devil.

so i think i'm just going to try and not see you anymore.

i think that might be best for me.

you take up too much of my time,

you take up too much of my life.

just so you know,

you drive me crazy.

but it's not that cute kinda way anymore.

this has been one shit-show of a weekend.

cloud nine has been up,

half of which has been here and stayed since friday.

needless to say it was one of the best weekends here in awhile,

if only for it's off the wall events.

but next weekend,

next weekend is where the roof pops off this bitch.

saturday december 13th. 

mark your calendar.

the most unusual situation i've gotten myself into.

you say a lot of words there kid,

how many are for me?

cause little do you know,

you are my everything.

& you got a lot of friends there, sweetheart.

and it's hard to shine so bright,

in a world as illuminated as yours,

to stay ablaze is upwards fight.

i know i'm no saint,

or anybody's savior,

but god damn,

i would fight the rain if it would make you smile.

and hows that fire burnin, baby?

i can see it in your eyes.

but i fear that it's been built up,

something another man has transcribed.

so i'm leaving you this letter,

hopefully it will make you see,

that you my dear are the one,

who has set that fire in me.

but you know a lot of people,

yeah, you got a lot of real good friends,

and i'm really not sure if i'm the one

who you'd run to when it ends.

but if you want to, you can roll over,

and come lay down next to me,

and i can show you what you've hoped for,

and i can show you what we'd be.

and you'll throw another log on my fire,

another kind word you've sent my way,

and i'll be right here waiting for you,

when you decide it's time to stay.

checking my mail at three o'clock in the morning.

blurry eyed.

these are the hours i live for.

i'm alone in my room,

but digitally,

you're right next to me.

i can't fight sleep that isn't coming,

and tomorrow i'll have all day to work this off.

besides, your words are like the first toys i've ever touched,

i wouldn't dream of putting them down yet.

let's not be so far away from each other anymore,

i think i might like it here a little bit better.

so artistic, it's futuristic.

notice the post date.

the Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

grab the book closest to you. 

turn to page 56. 

find the 5th sentence, then write that sentence down.

"They holed up in town

And dad-blamers but they found a neighborly way

to pay for their stay."

-Tom Wolfe

an open letter to my sweetheart.

i don't know how to say this,

so here goes.

since the moment we met,

somethings been different.

i don't know what it is,

but i can smell it in the air,

i can see it in my steps.

you are everything a little boy ever dreamed of.

and those slight stutters,

yeah, they're for you

the feelings are there but the phrase sticks in me like glue.

i can't tell you i love you and not hear it back,

the thought of that moment brings a panic attack.

so how can i get through to you,

without having to say a word?

i've always been so good with those,

but my mouth runs dry when you're around.

you leave me speechless,

stunning with your beauty.

i'm sending brain waves through my eyeballs,

hoping you'll pick up the signal,

and sometimes, i think i see a response,

but i don't know what to make of it.

i was always one to go for what i wanted,

and i feel that without this,

my life will forever go on haunted.

you see, you're the wish that keeps me believing.

and pardon me if i'm too afraid to make a move,

i'm just so scared of anything but perfection with you.

i'm at your will.

either hold me down,

or just give me a go,

or how about a sign, or something,

i don't know.

i just can't erase this picture of you in my head,

or our perfect moment,

or just lying in bed,

or anything even remotely related to you,

because if there's one thing i know for sure that is true,

it's that nothing matters as much to me in this world,

nothing, not as much as you do.

the reason i do,

half the shit that i do,

is me trying to get,

closer to you.

a masterpiece in progress

my heart is racing from the red bull,

think i might need something quick.

time is passing, and i'm mindful,

but i'm getting myself sick.

and i work so long

on not working at all,

in a world that seemed so big,

but you remind me just how small.

and i spend my time,

doing nothing at all,

this mountain didn't seem so big,

but i could never last the fall.

because i can't fly,

the way i'd like to,

and i can only try,

to get inside you.

like the way you did for me,

right now you're all that i see,

you're in my brain,

eating my thoughts again.

looking through those eyes as the clock ticks,

a new minute, a new hour, a new day.

making measures in my head as the song skips,

a new month but i still feel all the same way.

you're not a bad way to start december,

you're not a bad way to start december.