I've grown to love your disappearing acts, do one more pretty please.

living in the hudson valley,
its hard to have emotions that change faster than the weather,
but somehow I find myself pulling it off.
I found myself crushing leaves for amusement,
wasting energy simply because it's there.
& all this worry and thought I've built up over the past few months,
well, all of a sudden I'm able to just brush it to the side.
say it with me now:
'I don't need you.'
you're nothing more to me than a dream,
although your ability to blur the lines between falacy and reality have
been holding me hostage like a child's last desperate attempt to believe
in santa claus.
who are you and what do you matter?
you've never been anything more to me than a friend,
and not even the best at that,
so what are these day-visions of blossoming romance?
what's this new perception of a better half?
I've never been one to doubt myself,
but I'm stumbling, doubting my faith when you come by.
again;
'I just want you to go away.'
as you carefully penetrate through the pores in my skin,
I couldn't even begin to sweat you out.
subtle and smooth with the way that you move,
but it's time for you to leave now.
and the sign on my door says I'll see you no more,
so let's not say goodbye,
let's just disappear.