its funny how, things work out.

haha so, looks like i've been no better with the updates.

making the conversion to the iphone has been ridiculous.

and it's impossible to type long updates on there.

my twitter account, however, has gotten more use than ever.

things have been good,

home is nice,

a little stressful,

but it's a nice break.

back up to new paltz on tuesday for a little while.

spending new years with the homies,

you know how it is.

probably not staying at my place however,

that might be too much to handle for this trip.

hopefully we can find something dope to get into up there,

this way we'll be entertained,

occupied,

& not have to worry about the bullshit.

but i do have a week's worth of meetings to take care of,

so that means no partying too hard.

we'll seeeee.

i'm sure there will be another update or two before the new year,

but if not,

have a happy & a healthy new year with you and yours.

let's see what 2009 will bring.

some mistletoe all up in this piece.

merrrrry christmas mother fuckers.

that's right,

it's that time of the year again.

time to bust out your holly jolly spirits,

and surround yourselves with the ones that you love.

well, this year was dope.

i hope everyone had as much fun as i did

& that santa has blessed you all with ill presents.

but christmas dinner wiped me out,

& i'm starting to lose the spirit,

so i'm gunna go lift that up,

then maybe sneak off for a quick nap.

happy holidays everyone!

enjoy the rest of the eveninggg.

its christmas eve.

well apparently december has been a low blogger month.

so much has been going on,

i never have time to update.

well,

it's past my birthday.

i finally got a new cellphone,

after 6 years.

i did better than expected in my classes.

things have been really good.

tonight's the party for my family celebrating my birthday.

my mom insists on this every year.

well she made some delicious food,

so it should be rad.

i'm going to make an attempt to update more.

probably now with pictures,

since the iphone has a dope camera.

we'll see, we'll see.

goodnight all.

merry christmas.

in progress.

we built up our world
on pillars of promises
that noone intended to keep.
and make rash generalizations
about future generations
claiming its out of our mouthes that they speak.
what if we made a miscalculation?
someone screwed up our communication,
and dumbed us all up with an immunizaton,
and now all of our heroes are weak.
now all of our futures are bleek.
what if somebody took a wrong turn,
and now it's too late, and nobody's learned?
we're losing everything, all that we've earned
and nobodys asking, noones concerned.
because taxes are a joke to no man.
or at least that's what I'm told by the man.
but if everythings under his command,
than where's he paying his dues?
where's the cash for the shit that he's used?
I'm sorry if i act too bemused,
but I'm a player in the game that you programmed to lose.

burning banks & trains.

so basically the only thing i have done in the past two days,

is go to two finals, and read about the greek riots constantly.

tonight my friends had yet another token holiday party.

wine & cheese & spiked hot chocolate.

slightly different swing,

a classier way of doing things.

it was pretty rad.

i'm kind of excited that this semester is over.

although, i'm kind of scared to see where i end up a month and a half from now.

but for right now,

the only thing on my mind is sleep.

tomorrow i have two finals i don't want to go to,

but shouldn't be the most difficult things ever, either.

oh well.

wish me luck.

the city sleeps in flames.

"The State murders. Your silence arms them. Occupations in all public buildings, now. Occupation of the Town Hall of Agios Dimitrios"

the riots rage on. tune in.

Athens is on fire.

Has anybody heard about this shit going on in greece?!

the cities are on fire,

there's riots all over the streets.

15 year old kids,

making bombs,

lighting the police on fire.

a 15 year old kid was shot in cold blood by the police,

and it looks like the cop who fired is going to get off.

these people are doing exactly what they should be doing.

it's about time someone stood up to these corrupt fucking power systems.

if it's not working, 

the people are SUPPOSED TO

get fired up,

light it on fire

& build a new.

stay strong, freedom fighters.

here's a blog run by some citizens over there,

and participants in the riots. 

a first-hand account that you're not going to hear from the major media outlets.

On The Greek Riots

i guess them greek kids really know somethin' about art.

we were right in your downfall.

so stay true my friend,

we were right after all,

and be good to yourself,

stay gold through the fall

till i'll see you again,

maybe you'll grab my hand

and we'll be.

just never let it go,

we were right after all,

they'll never let us know,

but don't refuse to stand tall

because all, all that we are,

will be remembered.

go get it right,

be true to yourself,

because that's all we are,

if not anything else.

they'll remember,

remember,

remember,

remember how hard,

you fell.

SUCCESS!

all things considered,

last night was a huge success.

thanks so much to everyone who came out to support us,

and rock out with us at our first big event.

you guys mean the world to us,

and trust me,

last night was nothing compared to what we got in store.

for now, it's time to rest up,

study up for finals,

and handle the last few post-show wrap-ups.

but overall,

it's been a damn good weekend.

and resulting, i'm a tired boy,

so goodnight at 3:20 p.m. on a sunday.

what a fantastic day, not.

so, of course the show is tomorrow.

and i choose today to get sick.

fucking fantastic.

but you know what,

considering how this semester has gone,

i'm pretty okay with it.

the show will go on!

staying in tonight,

trying to get better.

i've taken every type of med under the sun today,

i better be fully functional tomorrow.

dead end road.

if you haven't found the answers you've been looking for,

maybe you've been looking in all the wrong places.

too much time has been spent in the past 12 months

asking the wrong person the wrong questions,

tossing absurd suggestions around,

expecting completely un-obvious answers.

i guess i'm real good at not knowing what's best for me,

because i thought what was best was you.

but if i don't know, then who should?

because to me it seems the best thing just seems to be the most understood.

but who really understands any of this these days?

the final acceptance of worthless dreams.

if it were up to me,

then you'd be in my car,

& we would be together.

& say things like forever.

if it were up to me,

we would drive away,

and we wouldn't worry about a single thing,

because you're the only reason i sing anymore.

but things aren't like they were before.

and you don't come around here no more.

i been wonderin' what you're waiting for.

you see all these products they don't make sense,

i've lost those feelings of innocence,

tried to brush it off as ignorance,

but i guess it doesn't work that way.

our lives have changed a lot,

beginning means long since forgot,

too much spent on what we haven't got,

and this pedal says you love me not.

cause we dont talk like we did before

and i barely see you anymore

but you've got a lure i can't ignore,

head in the clouds, heart on the floor.

what are you running from?

what have we become?

ever since the starting gun,

i've known you were the one.

but maybe that life ain't right,

and maybe we aren't all that tight,

and recently there's been a lot of fights,

recently i've cursed you many nights,

so maybe my brains a mess,

finding reasons just to stress,

whom do i really want to impress,

because right now i'm motivation-less.

I've grown to love your disappearing acts, do one more pretty please.

living in the hudson valley,
its hard to have emotions that change faster than the weather,
but somehow I find myself pulling it off.
I found myself crushing leaves for amusement,
wasting energy simply because it's there.
& all this worry and thought I've built up over the past few months,
well, all of a sudden I'm able to just brush it to the side.
say it with me now:
'I don't need you.'
you're nothing more to me than a dream,
although your ability to blur the lines between falacy and reality have
been holding me hostage like a child's last desperate attempt to believe
in santa claus.
who are you and what do you matter?
you've never been anything more to me than a friend,
and not even the best at that,
so what are these day-visions of blossoming romance?
what's this new perception of a better half?
I've never been one to doubt myself,
but I'm stumbling, doubting my faith when you come by.
again;
'I just want you to go away.'
as you carefully penetrate through the pores in my skin,
I couldn't even begin to sweat you out.
subtle and smooth with the way that you move,
but it's time for you to leave now.
and the sign on my door says I'll see you no more,
so let's not say goodbye,
let's just disappear.

and the flyer is in. (& new logo)

be there.

speak of the devil.

so i think i'm just going to try and not see you anymore.

i think that might be best for me.

you take up too much of my time,

you take up too much of my life.

just so you know,

you drive me crazy.

but it's not that cute kinda way anymore.

this has been one shit-show of a weekend.

cloud nine has been up,

half of which has been here and stayed since friday.

needless to say it was one of the best weekends here in awhile,

if only for it's off the wall events.

but next weekend,

next weekend is where the roof pops off this bitch.

saturday december 13th. 

mark your calendar.

the most unusual situation i've gotten myself into.

you say a lot of words there kid,

how many are for me?

cause little do you know,

you are my everything.

& you got a lot of friends there, sweetheart.

and it's hard to shine so bright,

in a world as illuminated as yours,

to stay ablaze is upwards fight.

i know i'm no saint,

or anybody's savior,

but god damn,

i would fight the rain if it would make you smile.

and hows that fire burnin, baby?

i can see it in your eyes.

but i fear that it's been built up,

something another man has transcribed.

so i'm leaving you this letter,

hopefully it will make you see,

that you my dear are the one,

who has set that fire in me.

but you know a lot of people,

yeah, you got a lot of real good friends,

and i'm really not sure if i'm the one

who you'd run to when it ends.

but if you want to, you can roll over,

and come lay down next to me,

and i can show you what you've hoped for,

and i can show you what we'd be.

and you'll throw another log on my fire,

another kind word you've sent my way,

and i'll be right here waiting for you,

when you decide it's time to stay.

checking my mail at three o'clock in the morning.

blurry eyed.

these are the hours i live for.

i'm alone in my room,

but digitally,

you're right next to me.

i can't fight sleep that isn't coming,

and tomorrow i'll have all day to work this off.

besides, your words are like the first toys i've ever touched,

i wouldn't dream of putting them down yet.

let's not be so far away from each other anymore,

i think i might like it here a little bit better.

so artistic, it's futuristic.

notice the post date.

the Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

grab the book closest to you. 

turn to page 56. 

find the 5th sentence, then write that sentence down.

"They holed up in town

And dad-blamers but they found a neighborly way

to pay for their stay."

-Tom Wolfe

an open letter to my sweetheart.

i don't know how to say this,

so here goes.

since the moment we met,

somethings been different.

i don't know what it is,

but i can smell it in the air,

i can see it in my steps.

you are everything a little boy ever dreamed of.

and those slight stutters,

yeah, they're for you

the feelings are there but the phrase sticks in me like glue.

i can't tell you i love you and not hear it back,

the thought of that moment brings a panic attack.

so how can i get through to you,

without having to say a word?

i've always been so good with those,

but my mouth runs dry when you're around.

you leave me speechless,

stunning with your beauty.

i'm sending brain waves through my eyeballs,

hoping you'll pick up the signal,

and sometimes, i think i see a response,

but i don't know what to make of it.

i was always one to go for what i wanted,

and i feel that without this,

my life will forever go on haunted.

you see, you're the wish that keeps me believing.

and pardon me if i'm too afraid to make a move,

i'm just so scared of anything but perfection with you.

i'm at your will.

either hold me down,

or just give me a go,

or how about a sign, or something,

i don't know.

i just can't erase this picture of you in my head,

or our perfect moment,

or just lying in bed,

or anything even remotely related to you,

because if there's one thing i know for sure that is true,

it's that nothing matters as much to me in this world,

nothing, not as much as you do.

the reason i do,

half the shit that i do,

is me trying to get,

closer to you.

a masterpiece in progress

my heart is racing from the red bull,

think i might need something quick.

time is passing, and i'm mindful,

but i'm getting myself sick.

and i work so long

on not working at all,

in a world that seemed so big,

but you remind me just how small.

and i spend my time,

doing nothing at all,

this mountain didn't seem so big,

but i could never last the fall.

because i can't fly,

the way i'd like to,

and i can only try,

to get inside you.

like the way you did for me,

right now you're all that i see,

you're in my brain,

eating my thoughts again.

looking through those eyes as the clock ticks,

a new minute, a new hour, a new day.

making measures in my head as the song skips,

a new month but i still feel all the same way.

you're not a bad way to start december,

you're not a bad way to start december.