every day passes with another drowzy afternoon,
and foolish evening feelings
that will wash away by morning.
i am building up a concrete palace.
i am creating the largest atom bomb
that has ever been imagined.
i am losing myself to the things that i swore would never matter.
i am pushing and hoping and wishing.
i have given up who i was for who i thought i wanted to be.
and i become a monster,
as i exhale the smoke from my lungs.
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