hey, get your head out of the clouds.

its been a minute since the last update,
and I feel myself growing.
or at least, my wingspan.
I'm making moves to have a hand,
in everything that goes down,
even remotely important,
in this town.
and I love it.

"a snappy new jacket, records,
a pair of pointy new shoes.
that's a hit-and-run guy, baby;
he's got bright lights in his head."
the words of the great gatsby are coming back to me.
only this time, I can relate.
never been brighter, never been more concerned,
never played such a big part.
but now its in my hands.
at least for a moment.
but I won't let go,
I'm holding tighter than ever before,
and although it seems like the days melt away,
I have found myself finding you.
its funny though,
this time you're in the form of the world,
not a pretty girl,
like I'm used to.

maybe I was meant to be this alone for awhile,
or maybe I was meant to look out.
maybe we were all meant to be free for awhile,
so that when time came we wouldn't miss out.
that's how I feel,
as if its all part of a plan.
well then,
I'm game.

the night ends with two flames.

geoff tells me,
"it's gunna happen."
if it's coming,
then i'm ready.
if its waiting,
well i'm here.
i can't handle the nothingness anymore.
and we're farther away,
but closer than before,
maybe thats the hope,
that i have prayed for.
and if the waves catch us,
then i'll swim in the wake,
find my way out of the ocean,
and try not to break
this half-worn body,
that's beginning to rust,
escaping this city,
leaving nothing but dust.


it seems i've lost myself.