Lifenotes v. I.

lifenotes are a thing i do sometimes,
right before i go to bed.
write down whatever i'm thinking.
and clear my head for a recouperative sleep.
the beginnings to this are from about a week ago when i first got here.
after that I'll write my bit for this evening,
then i'll drift away to dreamscapes.

Excerpt. Lifenotes August 10th.
BEGIN

I’m sitting here on another page,
A sleeper in another bed,
In the words of Anthony Green.
As Avalon plays gently in the background,
I must say that I am impressed.
I have found my zone for appreciation for it,
And I’m glad that he’s been there.
A cigarette burning in an ashtray next to me,
Being out of my home means that I can smoke wherever I like,
Real good for trying to quit.

I’m correcting all my typos,
I wish I wouldn’t.

I love being up here,
This is night number two with no internet or cable,
No connection to the outside world.
The Olympics have started and all I’ve seen
Is what I caught briefly at the bar this evening.

My life is in bags,
Literally and figuratively.
I’m all packed up,
Like I’m ready to go,
But I’m here.
This next lifetime needs to begin,
There’s so much to come,
I can’t contain it.
I’ve never been a patient child,
But this is the night before Christmas sleep loss.
The clock spins round,
And we miss the sunny hours of each day,
And the seizure of the moment.
But these speed bumps come at us,
Like miniature ramps,
We get our air,
We taste our adrenaline,
As the stationary pavement graves our undercarriages.
No idea is a bad idea they tell me,
Well I’ve got millions.
If I can make even 1/100th of them work,
I’ll be set for life.
Big leagues.
Just as I see a plate pass by,
MRKT WIZ.
Greetings Wizard,
Care to give a passer-by a try?
I know he doesn’t look like much,
But I swear that he could kill it,
With a little push and some motivation.
He’s just looking for a little inspiration,
Just a place to dock harbor,
Just a steady ground,
Just a dormant volcano to blow up.
Just give me a taste,
Then ill build you a castle
To eat your fill for eternity.
Drink up, this fountain won’t run dry,
But all of your sips will come with a price,
Because it cost’s enough just to get by,
But I promise that if you’d only give me a slice,
That I would make you towers to the sky.

She was right,
I miss having someone in my arms.
Without another set of shoulders,
I’m a turtle without a shell.
But I’ll stand just like a soldier,
Just inside ill be in hell.
Because independence only seems to be fun,
When there’s one more by your side.

Sweet dreams.
END 3:44 a.m.

Good Evening Galaxy,
I'd like to say a few things:

news flash, the end will kill us quicker.
you're more likely to die now than any other moment ever.
it's not a question of the drugs or the liquor,
the engraving is much deeper than what we use to make us sicker.

i feel like we're all so hopped up on finding our direction,
but we can't drop the petty shit like the colors of our complexion.
we all just stumble around to our daily routine,
perverts looking for women in search of protein.
society is a puzzle that harbors and feeds,
and eats away until it gets what it needs,
its not a bad intention, no that's in its place,
but it starts to turn gray around things like gender and race.
the first black president might get elected into office.
i understand that that is supposed to be a big deal for equality,
but less than a year ago,
officials discovered a family holding slaves in their home,
in the town that i grew up in.
rightfully the 'owners' are serving time,
but that doesn't change the fact that there is a deeper problem.
no ones making anything better,
they're just getting better at swaying public opinion,
and the media is still, as it has always been,
just showing it's own ratings-boosting side of the story.
the first potential woman president tried to run in the same election.
coincidence?
or is it a liberal scheme to illustrate equality
and illustrate peace and harmony,
but still,
just like the other side,
which i am certainly not advocating either.
to them,
its just about getting numbers,
and paper,
and winning elections.

i don't even know where that came from.

i miss being carefree.
i miss childhood.
i miss the smell of new beginnings.
i miss all of my firsts.
i miss first arriving,
and feeling like we had our whole lives ahead of us.
i miss innocence.

'ello out there.
i hope the sun's a little brighter on your side of town.