the burden of friendship.

you know,

i don't think we ever got to give,

this an appropriate dissection.

flaws and all,

i will stand tall,

and proudly display my affection.

and my remorse.

why yes, of course,

i have given myself to you,

in hopes to find,

in nearing time,

that you'd give yourself too.

right from the start

i've loved the art,

of living the way you do,

but i can't quite compare,

it's easy not to care,

i just can't hide things as if they're not true.

but you intrigue me,

yes, something relique-y,

it's like my life made a lifetime for you.

your light blonde hair,

everything that you wear,

and your eyes that radiate blue.

now i don't know what else to do or say,

to explain that it's you who makes me feel this way.

you're the mixed-up jumbles in my head,

and the face i see while asleep in bed.

i fantasize your investment religiously,

at night when i put stock into my dream-life lottery.

you're my rise & my downfall, and everything else,

you're my angel & sinner, and my life-line for health.

i'll follow you through the darkness,

even when i can't see,

to be at you side,

and protect faithfully.

and i won't feel scared,

even when i should be,

because with you at my side,

i will fight endlessly.

however,

something isn't right here.

i've beaten mountains,

and bears, and treacherous men,

but there's something that scares me,

away from your hand.

and i don't know quite what it is,

things just should not have worked out like this,

because nothing seems to be as i'd like,

so rather than make myself happy,

i'll just take a hike.

because i don't want to lose you forever,

even if that means we can't ever be together.

so instead of reading you this note,

i'll throw it to sea,

and like a makeshift boat,

i'll watch it sink gracefully.

and let it wash all through my lines,

and melt them away like the sands of time.

and i'll forever call you a friend,

as long as i never call you 'mine'.