the lights are flashing red, but i just wanna gun it.

no matter what i say love,

no matter what i do,

every little thing is just to get me back to you.

no matter what i say love, 

no matter what i do,

i'd give up everything,

just to stay beside you.

i find myself at a crossroads.

to my right,

i see everything that i have ever desired.

and to my left,

i see nothing but happiness.

the problem is,

these two are no longer intertwined.

in order to fulfill my dreams

i am sacrificing a part of myself.

losing part of what makes me, me,

for what i suppose i believe is

'the greater good',

internally.

it's hard to put to words,

i just feel like,

this is it,

this is the last chance to stop things.

to take it easy.

because if i keep heading in the direction i'm going,

there's no turning back.

it's a shame. 

this was just getting fun.

oh well,

shift into drive and slam my foot to the floor,

i've given up what i had,

and the life i knew before.

in hopes that with my twisted mind

i can conquer my demons,

and splatter the world with my proverbial semen.

i think that i can feel myself changing.

for the better, i suppose.

it's just weird how i'm now consciously able to notice the difference between the way i currently operate, and the way things used to go.

i have to say,

i think this is 'maturing'.