everything is now, and now, is everything.

I would buy you the stars in the sky,
make them spell out your name,
build cities around you,
sing songs of your fame.
in my eyes you're a goddess,
in my eyes you're a queen,
in my eyes you're the champion,
you're the girl of my dreams.

all the friends you thought you knew,
well they don't know you anymore.
and they never really even left,
they never said goodbye.
your loved ones are lost ones,
and fake ones,
and no ones.
they never knew what you could do,
they never cared to try.
because were all out watching our own necks,
were all just trying to get by.
but we are the only friends we have,
and this ill show you.
all those people you swore you loved,
will leave you.
and everybody eventually dies alone,
but you'll never be alone in my eyes.

I'm going mentally insane just to save my own life now,
I'd rather make a friend then spill all my guts out,
cause that's just the way I am.

so remove your insides, hold them tightly,
tell me what you like about me.
I'm the one you've always wanted.
way to gone, for you to find me,
5 towns later & I'm feelin' mighty,
I'm the one your mother told you to stay away from.

we have been waiting for
we have been waiting for this
our whole lives
so why does it feel like all the best times, are over?
bring me back, bring me back.
no let me stay.
this is here, this is now this is where I belong.
lets bring this back,
lets bring this back in ourselves.
lets win this rack, lets win this game with ourselves.
lets bring this back,
lets bring this back for ourselves.
lets bring this back,
lets bring this back for our new kind.

we are the kids, that time just left out.
we were the kids, your parents told you all about.
we are the kids, that still have tomorrow.
we are still kids, so break the norm,
were flyin' solo.

i will give you a penny,
for every bad word that i say,
and i'll give you a minute,
for every second i'm away.
you're the light in my life,
the wind in my hair,
you're the tingle in my fingers,
and the music in the air.

you've got it coming from all the right faces,
in all the wrong places.

she lives on devonshire,
i live in my own little world.

this is not the way its supposed to be,
in the hands of a man,
not a mercenary.
I've got to stop this,
I've got a plan.
& this is not a question,
its a matter of course.


can you, can you,
come over some time around two,
whatever's good for you, whenever's good for you.
cuz, I've been waiting around all of my days thinking,
somethings, well some things never change
and you know that its true,
all your friends they do too.
don't kid yourself sweetie,
its only us two.
my body's
not at rest
without you.

& i've missed your hair
(when it's everywhere, it's everywhere.)
i miss being so wrecked
& crawling up your stairs,
to your bedroom where our clothes are shed.
oh, you are the best at what you do.
i miss your excuses for the truth.
& i miss mixes made for making out.
but what i really miss is you calling me out.
i miss you singing low beneath your breath.
i miss your fingernails across my chest.
i miss how smooth your skin feels in my hands.
i miss sweating until the sheets are wet.
i miss the mistakes you made along the way
that always brought you back to me.

well I am so tired, but I never sleep,
my body is hungry, but my mouth just won't eat.
your body's a weapon, and I'm locked in your sight,
and if I don't escape ill be dead by tonight.

screaming from the rooftops,
and marching in the streets.
a parking lot of running cars
and a place to rest our feet.
taped to 40 ounces,
songs filling up the air.
a pay phone call and alcohol,
and a memory of what was there.

i'm sorry, i forgot that i was sleeping.
i must have dreamt that i was awake.

we're wasting time because things could be better,
we're not alone but we're not together.

tell me you love me, now say goodbye.
good things happen to bad people,
good people just die.

imperfection lies outside my window pane.

uncontrollable movement
stops you dead in your tracks,
get up, brush it off, move on.

I've got these great ideas and visions,
& I got a little time.
now all I need is the path
and a little spine.

the city never sleeps,
but i'm too tired to keep up.

today I reread your letter,
cover to cover.
finish to start.
I know every word by word by heart.
I got 3 years and an attitude,
I got this scribbled design
and I got pictures of you.
I got everything that I could ask for,
but I want more.
and I love how you run to me in the middle of the night
and I love how you pretend not to care
but you're not afraid to fight.
and I love everything.

we never lost our touch.
beautiful. yeah, just like a car crash.

diamond eyes, these skies of red and blue
serve only as a reminder, of memories with you.
as my footprints wash away,
I watch your hair in this gentle breeze,
your 6000 miles away but your face is still
the only thing I see.
tonight ill sleep with you through phone lines,
talking digitally.
fondling dreams of our kiss and our memories.
and ill say, please stay awake another hour,
we're no longer just a drive from flo to flower.
every minute brings a future, and come what may,
but I swear that ill love you, every single day.

here's a prescription,
ill write you therapeutic pain killers.

all old stuff.
some edited to sound better.
others had parts taken out.
a few were about specific ex's,
but no matter.

i think that brings me almost completely
up to date,
which means anything from here on out,
is new.
theres lots more old stuff, but i dont think i'm going to put it up.

by the way,
some of these things are song excerpts,
some of them are poems,
or just plain essays.
some are just shit that came out of my head.
just wanted to clear that up.
okay, good.

until the next,
take it easyyy.