for the nights I won't remember...

I'm going to jump around a bit here...

"...sometimes I talk so fast that I can't breathe."

at this point its either sink or swim.
either I will succeed to the fullest extent of the word,
or I will fail miserably--but there is no middle ground for me.

sleeves are my new style.

its a different kind of feeling,
to hate someone that you really care about.
especially when its your mother.
the pain of feeling expelled from the person who spawn you is almost
unbearable.
you see, I've messed up a few times in my day,
but I've never messed up for good.
I bounce back like a grasshopper,
after escaping a spiders web.
but bouncing isn't so easy
when you're dead weight,
in your home.
nothing makes you proud,
nothing makes you special,
you're just the last kid
in an after-school program,
waiting for a ride.
well, I'm sick of standing here.
I think ill go into the shop,
where ill build my own set of wheels,
and ill roll right out to the open road.
because greater things are coming,
I wish you'd just believe,
instead of giving up all the faith,
that you once held in me.
I will not say I'm sorry,
for being who I am,
and if that means you won't forgive me,
well then I don't give a damn,
and ill walk right out on what I've been given,
try to stand real tall alone,
and ill build up upon myself,
a life of cement and stone,
and I won't be broken down,
by every silly pebble,
or every sour word,
I've got my own suit of armor to protect me,
like the feathers of a bird
and when the storm clouds gather round,
ill act as white blood cells to a cut.
and all the feelings that I felt for you,
they'll stay locked up inside my gut.
because I will always love you,
but you've given up on me,
I hope one day you'll turn around,
I guess we'll wait and see.

today is a strange day, but I might be leaving for new paltz sooner than
I expected. I can't stand living at home any longer.

happier updates soon.
my chin is holding high.