kaleidoscope.

i think i'm in love with the idea of being in love.
like how beautiful all the colors in the spectrum are,
but i wouldn't want to be that beautiful.
i don't think i'd want to be colors either.
but i guess thats the beauty in the spectrum,
they're all there.
everything.

i miss being happy on long island.
not that im not happy,
but i mean, when things were good here.
now i've grown up,
moved on.
i'll always love it here.
but i'm not coming back,
for a long,
long,
long time.
to raise a family or something,
i can't deny this place is ideal for children growing up.
but i think it would be more fun to be somewhere else
for the in-between.
moving up to NP in 2 weeks,
for my full-time life.
i can't wait.
the next chapter is opening,
but in a whole new way.

i've been working a lot on some of the designs for dtf inc.
i am so excited.
wolfe & i have been kicking around ideas about it forever,
but once we're both in the apartment
i plan to kick it into full effect.

this year is going to be incredible.
between the job with Red Bull,
& the possible other jobs i have lined up,
i'll finally have some money,
and thats one less thing
i'll have to worry about.

to me, to worry is to waste life.
but im the supreme garbage man.
sitting in a corner,
planning my next step,
careful for all consideration.
they told me when i grew up i'd be weird,
but i didn't know what that meant.
to be cursed with a brain, too extensive for me,
ill constantly plant myself in all different places,
and grow.
i'll sprout the leaves of knowledge,
and spread my twisted roots.
absorb the tests of water,
and bear only the most precious fruits.

i think its time to take a step back.
i think i need a vacation from life.
slip into sleep,
and dream a couple weeks,
and let my imagination run itself crazy.
maybe then ill come out with a better understanding,
maybe then ill come out and ill know how.

i miss watching scrubs.
and laying in the grass,
and kissing underneath the rain,
and all the words we said in vain,
i miss the time when i loved you.


ill see you in a few hours.